3 Reasons Why You Should Avoid Self-Help Gurus With Bad Veneers

Call me judgmental, I don’t mind.  But my friends, it has taken me three and a half days to process the affront to my senses that was the presentation by James Arthur Ray at the Westin Bayshore Tuesday night.

I wrote the other day about experimenting with Meetup.com, which in itself was a bit of a bust as I couldn’t find my group (granted, I need a gps to travel 6 blocks in a community I’ve lived in for 3 years, so I may need to take responsibility for that one), but the meetup itself was set to the tune of a poorly veneered, self-aggrandizing promoter of personal abundance (or, as I’ve taken to calling him: the SOS. - I’ll let you sort through that acronym).

I did mention in my previous post about Malcolm Gladwell in relation to connectors.  Now let’s talk about thin-slicing.  When the SOS walked on stage my reaction was immediate – my skin crawled so hard that if I hadn’t been wearing my size 6 wishful-thinking pants it would’ve wound up in a pile on the floor.  Fine for Body World exhibits, but not so classy in a ballroom at the Westin.

Here are just a few of the tasty highlights:

1.  Three hyphentated words:  Cock-a-hoop.  My new favourite phrase.  You know, you could tell me that you’ve been on Oprah, and I’m all good.  But I’ve never heard someone so profoundly in need of respect and reverence while at once being a totally obnoxious blowhard.

2.  Condescension and one-upmanship thrown at those brave enough to speak in front of 500 people (Ian, Iqbal, and “rhymes with yummy” in the yellow dress – I remember all of you because it was the first time in my life that I physically radiated empathy)

3.  Power and intimidation tactics used to get people to fill out an order form, credit card info and all, lest you be called out in front of everyone else as ‘fearful’, ‘untrustworthy’, and ‘not committed to improving your life’.  Note to self: Insidiousness is not your friend.

Soon after a woman was accused of not being ready to improve her life because she didn’t have a credit card, I stood up in front of a room full of people (front & center – I’m a keener like that) and walked out.  I decided that I needed to take my fearful, untrustworthy self home for pudding and a lovely sunset walk on the seawall with my dogs.  Oh, and then committed to washing off the veritable stank from my hour with the SOS.

 

The Legal Fine Print

Proclomation of Questionable Humour:  As a Canadian I am culturally obligated to apologise if I offend with this post.  I hold no ill will against anyone who thinks this guy is all that and a bag of untrustworthy chips (oh, that’s me again).  He used to meditate for three hours a day.  He was on Larry King Live.  He is the son of  a protestant minister.  He was a contributor to The Secret.  Surely there are some good things about him, and I only wish you, him, and his teeth all things karmically well deserved.

Update:
And by “karmically well deserved”, I did not think this.  My heart goes out to the families left behind by this terrible tragedy:
James Arthur Ray’s Spiritual Warrior Event Kills 2, Injures 19 in Sweat Lodge Fiasco
Sweat Lodge Death Turns To Self-Help Guru James Arthur Ray

Update 2:
But I did think this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4FUVwDcpLwY

Things To Do On A Tuesday: Meetup.com

Tonight is adventure night. Well, some may not call it an adventure, but it’s adventurous for me as I can be somewhat shy around new people unless there’s some common purpose or goal. As such I’ve decided to dip my toe into the Meetup pool, and tonight I’m heading out to meet a group of complete strangers to see James Arthur Ray (“balance is bogus!”) at the Westin Bayshore talking about Attracting the Life You Want.

I want a life that doesn’t see me shy around new people unless there’s a common purpose or goal. Anything you can do about that there, James?

Tonight it’s the Vancouver Professional Mixer group, with stealth connector Jill.  From what I’ve seen so far, she is everything Malcolm Gladwell suggests in The Tipping Point that connectors should be: living in multiple worlds (in a good way: at least two Meetup groups that I’ve seen so far, plus a ‘real’ life which would include friends, relatives, work, and special interests); genuinely interested in people; seeing things in you that you don’t see in yourself; easily relate to people they meet.

I did join other groups but so far this is the only one where I felt like I was connecting with a real person – with someone I could relate to. And for a shy toe-dipper this strikes me as a good place to start.

So, VP Mixer – here I come. And James? You’d better pull up your boots because I’ll be watching you…